Eleven flags swaying at half mast. Eleven reminders of a nation’s grief.

 Three minutes of silence, standing in memory of so many dead – they will not be forgotten.

Today (5/19) all China stood together remembering the earthquake victims of Sichuan. For three minutes no one spoke. All that one could hear was the air raid whistle, a sound ripping at hearts across the nation.

Three days of national morning began today in China and appropriately began for me as I did a special lesson with my freshmen this morning – earthquakes. Before class began, I looked out the window and saw the Chinese flag waving in the early morning wind, flying at half mast. During class, one student spoke about what a natural disaster such as the Sichuan earthquake does to people – “It makes you wonder what you care about more – family, friends, or will we keep working so hard?” In addition, several voiced the fact that such disasters make one think about the purpose of life.

 On Monday afternoons I take a bus to another campus to teach. During the trip there I saw eleven flags flying at different companies, all at half mast. Class begins at 2:30pm, but three minutes of silence began at 2:28pm, the same time the earthquake struck Sichuan last week. And so I took position at the side of the classroom as two students raised up the Chinese flag and the class stood in silence an air raid echoing off the tall teaching buildings. Student’s wiped furtively at their eyes and even people who were still outside stopped moving. A country stood still, grieving together. And then life continued as normal. I had a lesson to get through and the students have classes to complete. Yet my heart continued to ache.

On the ride back to my apartment I again saw the eleven flags blowing in a more forceful wind now, still at half mast. And I recalled what one of my morning students told me. In China, the flag is never lowered for the death of a person except the president or prime minister. But today and for the next two days, against all precedents, China has lowered her flags. With bowed heads and lowered flags it is clear, China will not forget this. They will stand with their people, united as a nation.

 Could we, as Americans, expect anything less? A nation united in tragedy, filled with patriotism, grief and determination – sound familiar?

Where ever you go you leave a small piece of you behind. A piece you rarely notice and usually doesn’t affect your life in the new places, but then tragedy strikes and that piece of your heart breaks with the hurting and frightened in the place that used to be home.

That is my heart right now. Sichuan was my home for a year. Chengdu was a place I could wander around fairly easily and often find a friend. And now it’s an area trembling and fearful. My students and colleagues are safe, but some have family they still can’t contact. And my heart and mind are more divided than before. Now it’s not just between Yangzhou and America, but also Chengdu. Could I help? Could I be there for my former students and friends?

Most people keep telling me they are so happy I’m not in Chengdu this year, but I’m less happy about it. I feel so bad for those there. I recognize some of the places in the pictures I see on the news, I talk to students who are huddled outside in the rain too scared to go inside. Questions about their future, questions about their families, questions about classes (is the damaged building safe?). And my heart hurts. I cry for them. I lift them up. And I want to be there with them.

But I can’t. I am in Yangzhou right now as designed by the Father and this is where I need to be. Students here are nervous about the tragedy and filled with questions. I have a student from a province next to Sichuan and she’s obviously distracted as well. There is a work to be done here just as there is a work in Chengdu and the rest of Sichuan, and for reasons I don’t have to understand, this is where I am to work for the next 46 days.

Now I just need to keep my head here instead of Sichuan or America… blah.

My first blog on my first website! Time to learn about this technology stuff. Maybe when I learn enough (and maybe sell a manuscript) I'll actually buy my domain and make it all official :)

Anyway, here is an update on me in my final term teaching in China. This could be called the Good, the Bad and the Immensely Frustrating.

This term has been busy. I had another class added to my schedule, a friend from America came to visit (yay Brooke), one of my graduate professors came to observe my classes for a day, downsizing (again) and seeking employment in America.

Besides busy, though things have been happening. The Good – I’m nearing the end of my graduate program and the Action Research paper I need to complete in the next 6 -8 weeks is coming along pretty good (though I should probably have more). I’m meeting with two sisters once a week as we work on strengthening foundations. Friendships have been strengthened and I’m still breathing (that’s good, right?)

The Bad – my great grandfather passed away a couple weeks ago which means I’ve now missed two family funerals which is hard. Some relationships have fizzled to basically nothing and my Action Research hypothesis has proven erroneous (at least I can still write about it).

The Immensely frustrating – Call me the Closer. That’s right, I get to close a second school in as many years. Yangzhou University will be closing after this term (meaning ELIC is leaving the school). As this school has been so much nicer to work with than my school last year I have been frustrated with the decision, but with barely 1/3 of the necessary new teachers coming in and almost 3xs as many leaving this year, there simply isn’t the teachers. It took 2 months to get the teacher’s book for the textbooks we’re supposed to be teaching from (I got Freshmen two weeks ago and Sophomores last week). Changing luggage rules on American airlines, changing mailing rules on China post, and wondering how I’ve accumulated so much stuff in such a little bit of time. Oh, and I’m still waiting to hear about a job with ELIC (that makes 3 months of waiting…) and I have the patience of a beetle, so that’s been frustrating.

Anyway, I wanted to let you know where things stand at this time. I am starting to work on the next newsletter, likely my last, which will include a list of the Strange and Serious things I’ve learned in China and, hopefully, the final decision on the ELIC stateside job.